My Prayer to God

Yesterday in class we were learning about the characteristics of God. In the scriptures it actually only says "God is.." four times. It says God is Spirit, Light, Life, and a Consuming Fire. During the lecture our speaker felt that halfway through our class really hit a wall. For some reason, his message really wasn't getting across to everyone in the class. I sat there wondering what he was talking about and that I really felt that I was getting everything he said. He stopped his lecture and we began to pray and worship God and ask Him to speak to us and tell us what in our lives is hindering us from getting everything we need to hear. I thought I was fine but I began to pray anyways asking God to tell me if there really is anything there. As I sat there and prayed, the Lord asked me to begin writing in my journal. I want to share with you what came out.

Up until this week I had always viewed Christianity and worship as a sort of ATM. I viewed the guitars and the praying as a way of us making a withdrawal from God. Take what I need to give me joy and make me feel as if I am on some sort of higher spiritual plane. There is something deeper here. The songs are not just lyrics to a pleasing tune but instead a method of actual worship and exaltation. Father release my self centered view of you. Today is not about me neither is next week, month, year or decade. Father show me what you want for me. I am finally beginning to actually understand the purpose of my life is not to please myself but instead please you. Release my doubt and struggles that you will not provide and not take care of me. Your plan may not and probably isn't what I view as comfort. But Father transform my idea of comfort from self serving and worldly practices to the knowledge and comfort of knowing YOU as LORD my comfort and provider. I surrender all to you. Father I have an idea of what I want my life to look like and a method by which to go about that. Father I release my control because my control has only brought me pain. Guide my feet to walk the path you have set out for me and give me the strength to follow. Father replace my self serving desires with desires to serve you. Desires to discover your character and your heart. You are SPIRIT, LIGHT, LOVE, and a CONSUMING FIRE. By focusing on you I am healed. I cannot heal myself. There is nothing I can do or say or pay that will heal my pain. Father help me to understand that you heal my pain, nothing else. You are my redeemer. My guilt is pointless! You love me father and have forgiven me! By focusing on you and seeking you I then begin to become whole. Make my inner focus an outer focus!

It's really neat to see what God wants to say to you when you don't even think there is anything there to say.

God bless!